Matters of the Heart Read online

  “No, darling, you know I have my own live-in feeder whenever I desire her, oops, I mean it.”

  “How does Elle put up with you?”

  “She loves me.”

  “She does. You found a good one, Tori.” Her eyes were on Andrea. “We should all be so lucky.”

  “Is Fire Island out for you this summer? It’s always so much fun at the beach with the whole gang, the sun, the sea, good conversation and cocktails on the deck. It would do you good to spend some time there.”

  “You know I love being at the house, but it doesn’t look like I’ll make it this summer. I haven’t been there since the accident.” She looked so wistful it was painful. Andrea wanted to comfort her.

  Tori patted Darcy’s face. “Patience isn’t your strong suit, but you’ll get there. And remember, September and October are even nicer because the crowds are gone.”

  Andrea offered the last bit of sea bass and Darcy opened her mouth. Their eyes met. Andrea smiled and gently wiped Darcy’s lips.

  Darcy swallowed. “Well, maybe a little sexy.”

  They all laughed.

  Was it sexy? Andrea hadn’t thought about it like that but it sure felt intimate, more intimate than most of the sex she’d had in the last few years. Maybe Darcy was right. It was a little sexy.

  After dessert and coffee, Andrea excused herself. “I don’t want Tori to have to hold back any really sexy stuff to protect my innocent ears, so I’ll stroll around the garden and leave you two alone for a little bit.” She grinned. “Okay?”

  Darcy feigned panic. “Oh, God, no, she’ll have me trying to masturbate with my cast.”

  Tori pressed two fingers to her lips, pretending to consider the idea. “Hmm, I hadn’t thought about that. Go on, Doctor, I promise to take good care of her.”

  They watched Andrea until she turned onto a path that led to the other end of the garden.

  Tori wiggled her eyebrows. “So, what’s with the lovely Dr. Trapani? Are you in love with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “That explains the glow. She seems into you.”

  “You think? I don’t even know if she’s a dyke. And, she thinks my feelings are the result of my vulnerability and will dissipate when I’m stronger. But I know what I’m feeling. Anyway,” Darcy’s lips quirked, “she wants me to call her doctor, to keep our relationship on a totally professional level, but she’s Andrea in my thoughts.”

  “Ooh, I love dirty secrets. I won’t tell.”

  “Who said my thoughts were dirty?”

  “Hmm.”

  “Oh, you mean sexy? You know I don’t consider sex dirty.” Damn, her nose was starting to drip. Should she ask Tori or try to wait?

  Tori opened her bag and took out a tissue. “Here, let me get that, hon.” She wiped Darcy’s nose. “Need to blow?”

  Darcy shook her head. “Remind me why I let you go.”

  “You said we loved each other and were great in bed, but we weren’t in love.” Tori shrugged. “I wasn’t so sure about the not being in love part.”

  “But you went along with it?”

  “I loved you, Darcy. And I believed you loved me. It was painful and I could see you were hurting too, but I trusted you had a reason for breaking up.”

  “I’m so sorry, Tori. It was painful. Someday I’ll figure it out and explain.” Darcy sniffed. “Damn, Andrea’s right. I am vulnerable and emotional, I’m so weepy these days.”

  Tori dried Darcy’s eyes and kissed her cheek. “But that’s old news, hon. You were telling me about the lovely Andrea.”

  “When she arrived, I was feeling abandoned by everyone and totally freaked out. Candace had promised to stay with me, to help take care of me, then she disappeared, leaving me with Gerri, whom I had decided to break up with the morning of the accident.”

  “I’m going to kill Candace, slice her into pieces with my chef’s knife…”

  “She’s drinking again.” Darcy hesitated, remembering Candace’s recent behavior. “She created quite a drunken scene here a few days ago. She told Gerri I wanted her back and brought her here for dinner, then she told us all if Gerri came back I could get rid of Andrea. She called Andrea a bitch.”

  “Of course, she’s jealous. I felt your connection immediately. But you were telling me about Andrea.”

  “Right. I was a raving lunatic after the accident. In fact, the morning she appeared, I was in a screaming rage at Gerri who had just announced she was leaving. I was vile, Tori, really vile to Gerri and to Andrea.”

  “It looks like you didn’t scare her away.”

  “No, in fact she was calm and gentle despite my cursing and screaming. And, with her there, I felt safe. Suddenly I could breathe. A good thing, too, because she thought I was ready to have a stroke on the spot.”

  “And now?”

  “My heart’s not so good and bypass surgery is in my future. I’m tired of being an invalid, but I feel calm and happy being with her. We sit in the garden or in my room and she reads to me or we do a crossword puzzle or we talk about things, and I feel connected. For the first time since you, it’s not just about sex; it’s more, it’s deeper. It’s strange to say at my age, but I haven’t been in love since you.”

  “I’m so happy for you, Darcy. You’re a wonderful woman and I’ve worried that you’d end up being alone. But, no sex? You’re pulling my leg right?”

  Darcy smiled. “Of course, it’s about sex. But I can’t do anything for myself and she’s not willing, so, for the time being, all I have is fantasies.”

  The smirk on Tori’s face alerted her.

  “Don’t even think about asking me to share them.”

  “Aw, shoot.” Tori threw her hands up in surrender. “Do you want me to ask around, try to find out whether she’s a lesbian?”

  Darcy thought for a second. “No, she’ll tell me when she wants me to know. But, I’ve decided whether she’s a lesbian or straight, as long as she’s not in a committed relationship, I’ll pursue her until I get her.”

  “Poor thing doesn’t know who she’s up against. And, speaking of Dr. Trapani, here she comes.” Tori stood and kissed Darcy lightly on the lips. “I have to get back to work but I’ll see you both soon.” She hugged Andrea. “A pleasure to meet you. Give me your phone and I’ll put my home number and my private cell number in so you can reach me if you need me to do anything, or even if you just need to vent about Darcy the Terrible.”

  She keyed in the numbers and handed the phone back to Andrea. “I’ll see you both very soon. Now that I know, I’ll be underfoot whenever I can get away.”

  They watched her stroll to the door.

  “She’s terrific. Are you sorry you let her go?”

  “No, my dear. I loved her then and I love her now, but I haven’t been in love with her for a long time.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Andrea answered Darcy’s phone the next afternoon. “It’s Tori. She wants to have a party tonight. Are you up for it?”

  “Who?”

  Andrea relayed the answer. “The inner circle is anxious to visit and she thought a group visit might be less tiring for you.”

  Darcy nodded. “Yes, definitely.”

  Andrea spoke to Tori for a few minutes, then ended the call. “They’ll be over around seven. They’ll bring everything we need.”

  “I think I’d better take a nap before dinner, I don’t want to doze off in the middle of the party. And when I wake up, I’d like to change into something nice, if that’s all right with you?”

  Andrea smiled. “No problem.”

  While Darcy napped, Andrea called Francine and told her to come in around ten, then considered whether she should also change. The scrubs would remind everyone that she was there in her professional role, but since Darcy and her ally Tori would probably tease her anyway, maybe just jeans and her green sweater would do. Darcy seemed to like the way she looked in that color and had commented that the sweater looked sexy. Andrea flushed when she realized where her t
houghts were taking her.

  When Darcy woke, she requested the deep blue outfit with the plunging neckline. The color was gorgeous and matched her eyes. Once she was dressed, she asked Andrea to retrieve the blue sapphire necklace and earrings that would complement it from the safe in her closet. Andrea was reluctant to know the code for the safe and insisted that she ask Carlo to do it when he delivered dinner.

  When Carlo arrived, they shifted Darcy from the bed to the wheelchair. While they were eating, Carlo handed Andrea a blue velvet box. After dinner, she brushed Darcy’s hair, then applied eye shadow, lipstick and a dab of Darcy’s Perfume #7. She gasped when she lifted the necklace out of the box. It was spectacular, the sapphires a perfect match for Darcy’s eyes.

  Darcy smiled. “A gift from my parents on my twenty-first birthday.”

  Andrea moved behind Darcy and draped the necklace around her neck. She stepped in front to put on the earrings, but stopped and stared. The juxtaposition of the sparkling sapphires with the sparkling sapphire blue eyes was stunning. “Christ, you look gorgeous.”

  “Thank you.”

  Andrea fastened the earrings, wondering at Darcy’s restrained response. Usually, she would have made some smart-assed remark, but, of course, Darcy knew exactly how beautiful she looked and had no need to pretend. “Give me a few minutes to change then we’ll go down to the garden to wait for the party to arrive.”

  Andrea went into her bedroom to change and left the door half-open so she could hear if Darcy called.

  * * *

  To Darcy’s delight, her wheelchair was positioned perfectly in relation to the mirror on the wall in the bedroom and she could see Andrea’s reflection as she undressed. When Andrea had stripped to her lacy black bra and black bikini panties, Darcy tried to look away. But despite her honorable intentions, she couldn’t help herself. Each time she pried her eyes away, they wandered back to the mirror. Her body clearly thought, if she couldn’t touch, she should at least be able to look. She imagined caressing Andrea’s muscled and lean runner’s body, her fingers tracing the long legs, the sensitive upper thighs, the tight, round ass, the flat stomach, and then burying her face in those surprising full breasts. Feeling warmth trickle down her spine to her groin, Darcy closed her eyes fantasizing—

  “Hey you. Falling asleep already?”

  Darcy opened her eyes and took a leisurely look at the woman of her fantasy. Andrea knew she loved her in those tight black jeans and the green sweater that displayed her cleavage and brought out the emerald color of her eyes. Could she have dressed for her? One could only hope. Andrea had put on lip gloss, which she didn’t wear every day, and her lips looked even more inviting than usual.

  * * *

  Andrea pinked as Darcy’s eyes, naked with desire, swept over her. She stifled a groan as her body responded with a warm surge and an ache of want. She had to get them out of this room into the garden before she did something she would regret. She moved behind the wheelchair to escape those sexy eyes. “Ready?”

  “If you are.” Darcy’s words were more a breathy sigh than a statement.

  She pushed the wheelchair into the elevator. Neither spoke. Andrea was glad Darcy’s back was to her because she wasn’t good at hiding her feelings. The lust in Darcy’s eyes combined with the fragrance of her perfume in the enclosed space of the elevator was fueling Andrea’s already intense desire to take her to bed. And not for a nap. Shit. Darcy’s breath was coming in quick bursts; her pressure was probably sky high. She had to defuse this, pronto.

  In the garden, Andrea offered Darcy the iPod but she refused. Andrea could barely breathe. She reached for the medical journal she’d brought with her, hoping to break the sudden sexual connection. What she needed was her emergency room face. She could hear her teacher’s voice in her head: “Learn to control your face. Don’t let them see your feelings or they’ll panic and make it harder to help them.”

  “Would you mind picking up where we left off in the romance?”

  “No.” Andrea’s voice cracked. She cleared her throat. “I don’t mind.” She turned to their place and began to read. Thankfully, it wasn’t a bedroom scene. She forced herself to keep her eyes on the page and her voice steady but she was aware of Darcy’s eyes on her and of Darcy’s rapid breathing. What had happened? Different clothes? The sapphires? The makeup and perfume? She didn’t know, but she feared they might combust if the party didn’t arrive soon.

  At last, they heard voices at the side gate to the garden. Andrea let Tori and the women with her flow into the garden, then locked the gate again. She walked back slowly, watching the women surround Darcy and take turns hugging and kissing her. Then Tori started issuing orders. Wine and beer and glasses—glass, not plastic—were placed on the table followed by chips, crudités and dips. Darcy seemed lit from within as she watched her friends assemble the party. Andrea silently cursed Candace for depriving Darcy of this, of the love of the friends Darcy considered her family.

  A very tall woman wearing a vivid robe broke away from the activity to sit in the chair that Tori had thoughtfully placed in front of Darcy so she would be on the same level as anyone who came to talk to her. Andrea leaned against a lamppost observing their animated conversation. The woman’s posture and her elegance brought thoughts of an African queen, but her hands on Darcy’s face and her brushing of Darcy’s lips with hers brought pangs of jealousy.

  Tori’s voice interrupted her fantasy of ripping those hands away. “Is white okay or would you prefer red?”

  “White is fine, thank you. And thank you for this.” She gestured to the laughing women standing together chatting while they waited for an opportunity to sit and talk with Darcy. She wondered whether Tori had staged it or they understood intuitively that Darcy would be overwhelmed if they descended on her en masse. “She really needs it. My heart breaks thinking she felt you all had abandoned her.”

  “We’re here now and you won’t get rid of us.” Tori put her hand through Andrea’s arm. “Come on, she wants to introduce you.” Andrea tensed.

  Tori patted her hand. “Relax. I doubt she’ll put you on the spot tonight. In fact, I think she’ll be protective, maybe show you off a little.”

  “Show me off?”

  “Deal with it, woman. She’s smitten. She needs to feel good about herself right now and, like it or not, you make her feel good.”

  Andrea stopped and looked Tori in the eye. “How did you get to be such a wise woman?”

  Tori lifted her glass as if to toast Andrea and took a sip. “Like I told you, Darcy taught me everything I know. Ready?”

  The tall, bronze-skinned woman had left and the chair facing Darcy was empty but Tori pulled a second chair over and positioned it beside Darcy. As she sat, Andrea said, “How’s it going?”

  “It’s going. I’d like to introduce you, if that’s okay? I promise I won’t embarrass you.”

  Andrea patted Darcy’s hand. “I’d love to meet your friends.” She looked down at their hands. Somehow Darcy had managed to grab her finger. What a devious woman. Rather than get into a pulling match she left her hand there, intending to extract it when Darcy had relaxed a bit.

  Andrea looked up. Tori must have given a signal or something because the African queen was back in the chair facing Darcy. “Dr. Trapani, this is Elle, Tori’s wife. Elle, my doctor and companion, Dr. Trapani.”

  Ah, Tori’s wife, not, she caught herself about to think, a competitor. Darcy had mentioned that Elle, like Tori, was a model, and that the blond, blue-eyed, porcelain-complexioned Tori and the dark-haired, hazel-eyed, bronze Elle had often been paired in ads. Elle seemed serious, remote, until her face lit up with a smile that warmed Andrea’s heart.

  “Welcome to our little tribe, Doctor.” Elle put a hand on Andrea’s arm. “Tori told me all about you.” Her eyes dipped to their intertwined fingers. “No, don’t blush, it was all good. She likes you, and the opinions of Tori and Darcy go a long way with this group.”

  “I like her t
oo. We had a fun lunch.”

  “Yeah, put her and Darcy together and they’ll keep you in stitches.” She focused on Darcy. “Darcy, love, have I told you that, you look beautiful?”

  Tori walked over. “Ready for some wine, Darce?” She extended a glass.

  “Love it and” —she glanced at Andrea— “a few chips.”

  One night of chips and dips and whatever else her friends had brought wouldn’t kill Darcy and to tell her what she could and couldn’t eat in front of them would embarrass her. Andrea gently extricated her finger and took the glass from Tori. She put her own wine on the table next to her, then plucked a straw from the bag hanging on the back of the wheelchair and put it in Darcy’s glass. Tori returned with a small plate of chips. Andrea gave Darcy a sip of wine, then fed her a chip.

  “Ah, real food.”

  Elle laughed. “I heard the doctor put you on a healthy diet. Never thought I’d see the day. Maya’s lurking so I’m going to give up my seat now, but don’t worry, Tori and I are planning to spend a lot of time with you. And, you too, Doctor.”

  Maya. Her name made Andrea think of jungles and parrots and exotic foods, but other than her bright red hair, the woman who leaned in to kiss Darcy’s cheek didn’t match her vision. In fact, she was short and chunky, pleasant-looking but not beautiful, until she spoke.

  “Hey, Darcy, my love, you really did it this time, didn’t you?” Her voice flowed like warm chocolate, dark and rich, and she crackled with energy and humor and intelligence that had an attractiveness of its own.

  “How else is a girl to get the attention of this group?”

  Maya frowned. “That didn’t work out so good for you did it? I’m going to wring that shrimpy blonde’s neck the next time I see her. I’ve been waiting for you to come back from Italy so we could discuss the latest Teddy Roosevelt biography. And, damn, I find you were here the whole time.”

  Darcy took a minute to introduce Andrea, then started on the Roosevelt biography. After a few minutes, Tori put a hand on Maya’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt kiddies, but we have to keep this line moving or we’ll overstay our welcome.”